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Excuses, excuses

A musical instrument is a key that unlocks a bounty of treasures: self-respect, cooperation, understanding, resourcefulness, pleasure, escape, family harmony, and on and on. Why, then, do some parents deny this experience to their children? Do any of these reasons sound familiar?

My child has no talent.

How do you know until he or she is exposed to a learning situation where music is involved? Shouldn’t all children be offered a chance at such an enriching adventure? Furthermore, if only the highly talented become musically literate, who will support our symphonies or appreciate our musical heritage or simply enjoy all the music that surrounds our lives?

My child is not the type.

There is nothing to be gained if we label and pigeonhole everyone. It’s natural to hope that our children will carry out our unfulfilled dreams for us, but it’s risky to put our own dreams before theirs. Maybe you call Johnny the “athletic type” because you want him to be a sportsman. But does that mean he can’t be an athlete who also enjoys music? No career is an alternative to music, but each is enriched by music’s rewards.

My child shows no interest in music.

Are you sure? Almost all young people respond to life with sound and song. Sing a lullaby to an infant, and the baby coos in return. Hand a stick to a toddler, and he or she will beat out a fascinatin’ rhythm. Kids spend a good part of life humming, strumming, tapping, whistling, swaying, rocking and rolling. By its very nature, the world of childhood is saturated with music.

My child hasn’t asked for musical instruction.

Does your child beg permission to go to school or church or scouts? You normally assume responsibility for these decisions as part of parenting. Children can’t know what experiences will be meaningful for them. They need you to make choices, set directions and open up new horizons for their growth.

My son should be out playing ball.

In an era of dishwashing fathers and working mothers, we can no longer stereotype interests and activities as feminine or masculine. And why would we want to? Both sexes should feel encouraged to experience life in all its richness. Music and the arts help nurture every child as a well-rounded person.

My child will take years to learn . . . and he’ll probably quit.

Children begin mastering simple tunes very early in their instruction, which leads to an early sense of achievement. But even if your child tries and quits—or tries and fails—is that a valid excuse for denying the experience in the first place? A friendship with music, even if brief, can add a new dimension to your child’s growth, reaping enormous benefits in later life.

Okay, parents. Let’s face the music.

Parents can contrive lots of excuses for denying music to their children, yet music education is one of the oldest, most readily available and probably least expensive routes available to family solidarity. It’s one of the few hobbies that can last for life and improve with age. Take a look at your friends whose lives have been enriched by music over the years. Think of your own child’s future. Remember that music is "the food of love" and that you can become a better parent by helping a new generation to "play on."

1. Knowing and working with the band or orchestra director
2. Buying or renting an instrument
3. Helping your child learn
4. Some common misconceptions
5. Glossary of Terms in Instrumental Music
6. Do's and Don'ts of Instrument Care
7. Choosing a Music Store
8. Consider Private Lessons
9. What Else Can I Do?

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